Scramble off the pedestal

"You better scramble down off that pedestal as fast as you can, before you fall off it!" -Roger C.

How many possible ways can I make it all about me?

In my ongoing endeavor to inform people of my own humanness, I assume most of them have me up on a pedestal (like the rest of the world I've created for myself). I've already mentioned the Facebook friend who recently expressed confidence in my "cleanliness is next to godliness" approach in the Nursery. I chatted with her today and discovered why she ever mentioned it to me in the first place.

I wrongly assumed she wrongly assumed I was a clean freak. But no! Her sister also volunteers in the Nursery and had told her how much I like to clean things. So, the fact is, EABC Nursery law requires all toys that may have touched a child's mouth to be sanitized at the end of the church service. I enforce the law. I may be a little bossy in my approach.

"Oh yeah, that Michelle makes sure we clean every single moveable object in the place before we're dismissed from our duty!" becomes "I assume since you are working today, the children will get their hands cleaned before snack!" which becomes "Why do other, less-experienced mothers worry about cleanliness so much, because I certainly do not! Look at me, I'm just plain old me! I let my kids eat dirt for breakfast! Don't think so highly of me! I'm just an experienced mother of five, and if there's one thing I've learned in all my years of successful, though happenstance parenting, it's what doesn't kill them can only make them stronger!"

This may be a good time to share with you the dream I had where I am participating in a musical production, and at the crucial point, lights dim the stage as the spotlight shines bright on just me, and I raise my hands triumphantly and sing (yes, there's a tune) out loud, "it's all about me.. ME! It's all about ME!" Again with the dream interpretation... seems pretty obvious, don't you think?

The point? I know there have been some mothers along the way who have been fairly impressed with my "skills" as a mom. It has become my goal in recent years to let them know I make so many mistakes and struggle in so many ways, that I just have to laugh out loud. In the process, however, I have come to assume everyone is thoroughly impressed with me at all times. I'm not waiting to discover who's got me on a pedestal, I'm just climbing right up there to save everyone the trouble of that rather weighty lift. And from up high, I dare to preach down about how I don't deserve to be there, and how I'll be right down if everyone could please just step aside. Ironic.

And humbling, too. So a big shout out to my heretofore unnamed Facebook friend who wishes to remain anonymous (I think I'll just call you... Anne?... Annie?... Hannah?... Mrs. C.?... still working on that pseudonym). Thank you for pointing out how low to the ground this pedestal actually is.