I guess because I have so many kids, people think I should write a book. I've often wondered what it is about me and my life that intrigues these people (or at least prompts them to make such ghastly statements). I've tried to pay attention, looking for any differences that may set me apart. Here's what I've come up with so far... I have more kids than most people, strangers think my kids are well-behaved, and people see what they want to see.

Since I am not adequately motivated to start that book just yet, let me use this forum to clear up at least two misconceptions about me. While there's no denying I've survived more pregnancies than most people I know, and I regularly threaten my kids to behave when they are in public with me (or else!), let me assure you it's not all rainbows and sunshine.

I know one at least on Facebook friend is concerned about her own imperfections because she's looked at all my Facebook photo albums. Michelle's kids are always smiling and getting along! To that I reply with a simple but forceful, "HA!" Do you think I want to post the ugly stuff? Do you know how many rolls of film it takes to get one decent photo for Christmas cards each year!?! (Answer: on average, I'd say four to five rolls of 36 exposure, expensive professional film.) For future reference, I plan on posting several less-than-beccoming photos of the little miscreants. It won't hurt my feelings at all if you see a few of my flaws (read that: misbehaving children).

In another recent story involving yet another Facebook friend (mere coincidence, I am sure) found me working the front desk at our church nursery. She leaned in, confidentially, and said, "I assume since you are working today, the children will wash their hands before snack." I almost laughed out loud, but tried hard to maintain my composure. Do you mean to imply that I keep track of washing my own children's hands and that I consciously avoid germ contamination? Again with the "HA!" As my father before me has stated time and again, "what doesn't kill them makes them stronger." I know it sounds a little harsh, but aren't they all going to get sick at some point anyway?

I have told you before, I do love my children. And I don't like to see them sick or hurt (or misbehaving in public). But if it will help another mother to know the struggles I face, I will do my best to encourage you any way I can. I am not a germaphobe... I think dirt is a kid's best friend, really. The next socially-acceptable time for a person to get covered with mud is in adulthood when they go for a spa treatment - and if they have kids in their adult years, we all know the chances of that ever happening! So, get 'em grubby, Mom! Let 'em live! It keeps kids busy for hours. I remember as a kid, sitting (playing for hours) in mud puddles, having mud fights, swimming in questionable ponds... I survived! I'm happy! I have good memories! Also, it's free.

So now you know two, dark, ugly truths about me... my kids don't always behave (but the pictures sure make it seem like they do) (which is another way of telling you what a talented photographer I am!), and I let them get dirty and sick (which is another way of saying I tend toward laziness and neglect). Seriously, I spend a lot of my time wondering where I failed in the upbringing and training of these people - they are embarrassingly naughty at times, and they fight like it's their purpose in life. They refuse to clean their rooms (more on that later), they whine whenever I ask them to do a chore, they wear the same underwear for days on end, and they've been known to lie to my face.

It's not all discouraging news, really. But just so you know, this is a hard job, and I apologize for making it look easy. I plan on revealing more dirty secrets in future posts, so keep visiting. Before long, you'll see me in a whole new light... and you, too may laugh at the thought of me writing a book!