Very long & outdated update

I've saved this letter in my archives since January, 2008. My friend, Erika, living in Arizona, had not heard the news of my life for at least that entire year (more, actually), so this sums up 2007. As it does such a good job of telling the story and describing important events, I will reprint it here, mostly in its entirety. The subject reads "Better sit down".

OK,

If it's OK with you, I'll catch you up via email. I wouldn't say it's the BEST way to get it done, except that it is an absolute, and that's a very good way... better than not getting anything done, which has been my way for the past year or so.

And what a year it has been.

As you know, we bought property, and eventually re-vamped the building into a coffee shop. We finally hung the "Open" flag last January(ish) [2007], and were figuring things out as we went along. Scott worked in Auburn at the time, and opened the shop before leaving for work. I'd meet him at the shop with the kids (they could catch the school bus there), and spend my day there. We did hire my cousin, Seth (a 19 year old college student who lives at home) to work days for us, as it wasn't really working out with the two little girls following me all around the place, wanting every treat they saw in the case. I managed to cut back my time there considerably, and it ended up that Seth was the only one in the business making money (and that was just barely a profit for him).

Scott decided to go back to Irving in Portsmouth (decision made in February, I believe, for a May move), and we found out we were pregnant in February, as well. It was a little bit of a shocker for us, as it had been over a year that we had been trying (unusual for us), so we started thinking maybe five would be our limit. Well, with the pregnancy illness and Scott's move, we looked at our list of priorities, and the shop came out way at the bottom. There was no way we could dedicate any serious time to get it running right, so we simply closed shop to reevaluate. I was sick for a loooooooong time, and it was no surprise that I got big early.

In July, I helped my sister plan and organize her wedding (we hosted the rehearsal dinner and reception at our house), which took place August 4th. It was a miserable time for me, being so huge and hot, and on my feet all the time to get her ready. I was frustrated she wasn't inviting (my) kids to the wedding, though she DID want Sophie in the ceremony, but it was her wedding, and the bride should get what she wants. I ended up having to hire a babysitter to stay home with Sam and Molly(who also ended up setting up the tent for the reception), then I had to drive to Popham with my parents and Sonja and Sophie (we were all in the wedding), while Lilly and Kate rode the rented bus to watch the ceremony (OK, I got my way a little bit). It was a fiasco, to say the least. Anyway, at the end of the day, she was married, and I was exhausted.

[Kids update here... edited to fit the time constraints.]

Scott has enjoyed working at Irving again, though the commute is a killer, as usual. He actually has a one-year contract with them, and is trying to figure out what to do next. We keep tossing around the idea of moving closer to Irving if that's where he truly wants to stay. It's such a bad job market locally... we may have to move one way or another, either to keep the salary or keep close to work. Time will tell, and as usual, we're not really nervous about any of it.

Sometime over the summer, Sean and Adrienne found out they were pregnant, just as she was switching jobs so she would qualify for fertility treatments. I think she found out the same week she found out her mother had cancer in her ovaries and uterus. Both are still going strong... we credit the pregnancy for giving her mother something to live for. She is due the end of this month, and is enjoying a sense of relief and hope (I think you know they lost a baby in the first trimester around the time I was pregnant with Molly).

Around the end of September, I finally started feeling less miserable with the pregnancy. The weight gain slowed down considerably, and the constant nauseau practically went away. I got a lot of energy, and started nesting big time. After four weeks of feeling really good (more like a usual pregnancy for me), I started getting tired again, knowing full well I'd go at least one week over the due date. People were so surprised to see the due date come and go (of course, Scott and I were pretty much planning on a late date... the only kid to be born early was Lilly). The baby was due October 1, so on Tuesday, October 2 I had a routine check and everything was fine... though even the doc's office was surprised that I would carry baby number six past the date.

By that Saturday, I had decided it was going to have to be soon, as I was getting exhausted again. Saturday night we went out, saw some friends, had a good time. Sunday we skipped church, mowed the lawn, ran kids around to various friends' houses. That next Tuesday I had two appointments scheduled... an ultrasound to check the size and movements of the baby, then a follow-up with the doc's office. In another letter completely, I will tell you the dream I had early Tuesday morning, but to sum it up, I dreamt I was at the doc's office, and they wouldn't show me the heartbeat.

My sister drove me to my first appointment, and I told her the bizarre dream on the way there. She got very upset. We arrived at the place, and tried to comfort each other and be realistic. Got through the appointment, but the tech told me the docs wanted to see me right away. We rushed over, figuring if it was a true emergency, they'd have sent an ambulance for me... I kept thinking I was going to be rushed in for an emergency c-section. Long, long story short, a doctor new to the practice had to come into the room, introduce himself and tell me he had some bad news. Some very bad news. I thought he was joking. He wasn't... they had not been able to detect a heartbeat.

He did a confirming ultrasound there in his office. We called Scott and my parents who all rushed to the hospital. There was nothing to do but deliver the baby. I got the epidural, and they induced labor. It took about twelve hours before she was born. I must admit this was the most surreal experience of my life. Even as I type, I have to stop and think about the events as though it were some strange and sad movie. I certainly didn't want my first correspondence with you in years to be about this, but it is what it is.

We are working through the grieving process, all at our own pace. I'll send you a letter I sent out to friends of mine... Most people don't know what happened, exactly, and many people are unsure of how to ask about it... or whether even to ask. Simply put, there were blood clots in the umbilical cord, keeping nutrients from the baby. When I consider the whole pregnancy, I realize this baby was not meant to be in this world, no matter what I thought or planned. God has a plan we don't fully understand, but He carries us though this, and we are learning so much in the process. It has been painful and sad and disappointing, but we continue to be amazed at the support network available to us, and we are so grateful for it.

So, you can understand I saved the most difficult news for last, and now I'm a bit worn out. I do have more to say about it, and I don't feel fully caught up, but that's a fairly accurate update of my life over the past year. Overall, we are doing well, and our family grows stronger with each new day. Once I hear back from you, I'll send the other letter I mentioned. It has a pretty good photo attached, which I know you'll fully appreciate.

[Personal closing comments omitted.]

Love,
Mi

The next blog entry will be the letter I mentioned with the photo of preggo me. This letter had the following photo attached.

A nearly perfect day.

A friend suggested I get into writing how wonderful my Saturday was, and I think she has a great point. Too often, I rely on my Facebook to spread the news about my life. Many of my friends and family read that, but in this case, it provides insufficient space for all the sordid details.

If you've been even remotely awake and alert this June, you will know we have seen our fair share of rain. More than our fair share, to be honest. We are breaking records all over the place! It's starting to get a little more than a little depressing, so imagine my delight to awaken yesterday to rays of sunshine across my bed. Glorious!

Scott and I discussed our plans for the day, and came up with the ever-exciting plan to clean a garage (maybe two, if we really get into it!). Before we could get to the first garage, we had to hoe out a bunch of garbage that has collected there since the breakdown of the truck (back in, oh, 1983, I believe). Before we could take the garbage to the dump (and since the breakdown of the truck), we had to clean out the back of my van to make space for copious amounts of stinky, fly-infested trash. Hm, you can see how our plans evolved rather quickly from one odious task to another to another. But eventually, we found our starting point and got to work.

With Sam sorting bottles and cans for the redemption center, Scott sorting gross trash from grosser trash, and me working on the inside of the van, we managed to make some headway. Before we knew it, we were off to the town dump with our first load.

This marks my second ever visit to the Hebron Dump in our nearly five years of living here. As luck would have it, I was able to congratulate Caroll, the town dump guy, on his retirement from dump guydom. I am reasonably convinced the whole town came out for the last day of his 21 years of service. I think I need to spend a whole Saturday down at the dump, just observing and chronicling the comings and goings of the town of Hebron... there is much news to be had there! Maybe more on that another time.

Once we got back home, Scott lit the burn pile that has been growing since the first time we mowed this lawn five years ago. I worked on grilling hot dogs (not on the burn pile, mind you) (my second ever time using this grill... are you seeing a pattern?) while Scott added a waterproof liner to the van for the second most-icky, rain-soaked, mold-infested pile of garbage from last Fall's basement flooding. Yum. Some kids played in the yard, others played in the pool, and the sun was shining, my friend!

We enjoyed our basic, summer lunch at the picnic table, poolside... hot dogs with grilled buns, and cherry kool-aid. Perfect! That done, Scott finished filling the van while I lounged in the sun for a bit (officially, we call it lifeguarding). Once the boys were ready to go, I got a crossword puzzle and headed out to sit in the shade to tend the burn piles. This is my best memory of the day, and I specifically closed my eyes to soak in the moment... a slight breeze directed the smoke (and bugs) away from me, while I relaxed in the dappled afternoon light. The kids played nicely in the background. The dog was too hot to complain. For a full fifteen minutes at least, no one asked me for anything! It was like heaven!

OK, I jest. It was probably closer to two hours I sat out there tending the fires (about as much work as lifeguarding, btw... only shadier), but it really was very nice. Scott and the kids came and went... at one point Scott even delivered a margarita out to me ("lime salt, and everything!") before dinner. Ah, and dinner! Kate grilled salmon with dill, and served it with rice pilaf and broccoli. Clouds that had threatened all day finally rolled in, but the rain held off, and we roasted marshmallows over the coals ("marshed marshmallows" as Sophie calls it).

We needed a day like that, especially when it's followed by a day like this (read that: more frikkin' rain!). I will cherish the memory of that Saturday in June, when Sophie skipped out to check on me by the fire... fresh from a little skinny-dipping jaunt herself, ready to warm her buns by the fire... so innocent, completely unaware of the social impropriety, not a care in the world. In my mind it will remain a day of singing, splashing, getting along, smiling, and relaxing, all the while achieving some level of actual productivity.

Did we get even one garage cleaned out? No. We'll have to do that when the sun comes out again (at this rate, we'll revisit the idea in another five years).

Bourget Family Update May 2009

And now, by popular demand, the Bourget family update (in a nutshell) for those of you who are just joining the program...

Scott and I are in our 14th year of wedded bliss. We are living in Hebron, Maine... on 20 acres of lawn, field, pond, woods and stream... it's our happy place. We are one town over from my parents (still, 13 miles is a good "bumper"... can see the parents when I want to, but don't feel it necessary to travel that distance daily)... and half a mile from my in-laws (as it happens, half a mile is also a decent bumper).

Scott is working for Override... a subsidiary (as I understand it) (or maybe it's more of a spin-off) of Irving, in Portsmouth, NH. He loves it. You can look that operation up online (www.override.com), and let us know if there's any way he can do something productive in your town (then he'd have to travel there, and I'd be happy to go along for the ride... the OVERride! ha!) (lame, I know). He plays men's league, slow-pitch softball in Auburn, and assists with our kids' various teams.

As for me, I'm still doing some photography when I want to (which is not often, really, because I'd rather just stay home and not clean house). I am extremely blessed to be with the kids for nearly everything... this is the life I've always wanted, believe it or not, so I'm very happy. It's a hard job, of course, and many days I look and feel less than ideal, but whatever... it's extremely rewarding, and totally worth it. Ironically, I am still learning how to cook and clean... apparently these skills are essential to effective housewifery and successful stay-at-home-momness. Give me another 14 years, and I may just have the hang of it.

Lilly will be *13*(!!!!!) in July, and headed into 9th grade at Oxford Hills High School in the Fall (you're right... I'm too young to be the mother of a high schooler). She homeschooled for 7th grade before heading back into the system for 8th grade. She LOVES school. She plays viola in the orchestra, participates in travel chorus, plays softball and ran cross- country last year. Oh, and of course, she was a cheerleader this past winter.

Kate is 11, and in the 5th grade. She wants to homeschool next year, for no reason, I believe, other than she'd have me mostly to herself for a whole school year! She plays violin in the orchestra, plays soccer, sings in chorus, and wants to take up drums (good thing I have that snare from my sixth grade year!). Her teachers love her because she just strives to go above and beyond in all her endeavors (what a waste of energy, I say!).


Sam is 9, 3rd grade. He's a skater in every sense of the word... he completes and turns in as little homework as possible (that's my boy!), while still managing to meet or exceed all the standards. He plays no instrument, but loves (and plays) soccer and baseball. He's a natural athlete (must've gotten that from Scott's side of the family), and a real ham... keeps us laughing. He's the stick that stirs that pot... gets the girls all in an uproar whenever he wants (please do NOT feel sorry for him ever, just because he's the only boy... he holds his own, for sure).


Molly is 6, 1st grade. She follows closely in her brother's tracks, as far as schoolwork goes. She's highly intelligent, and easily bored with school. This is the child that has taught me the most about parenting... being a kid doesn't seem to come naturally or easily to her. She's my creative force... she loves to create art, and she can sing and act with the best of them. She played soccer (when she wanted to) and t-ball (ibid.), but currently is perfecting her Heelying techniques. Molly is the child we will worry least about in life, because though she will probably (most likely) make some bad (self-destructive, dangerous or otherwise scary) decisions, she's a force to be reckoned with... no one will stop her from doing what she darn well pleases in life. She'll be taking care of business and watching out for Numero Uno all the livelong day.


Sophie is 4, no class. Well, you know. She's probably the smartest of them all (she's had a lot of highly skilled teachers ahead of her), and will probably start homeschooling for real this fall, because she just misses the cut-off for kindegarten. She's a sweet, affectionate, Mama's girl, and we have a lot of fun hanging out together most days. She's a good way to wrap up the child-rearing experience.




We also had a baby 19 months ago, Phoebe, who was stillborn at 42 weeks. It was an odd experience... long story which I'm happy to share should you desire details. I'm working on putting that in the blog, but man... a blog takes time!



Oh, and we have one dog who's lucky to still be alive. (I am not a dog person.) Meet Max.

Dangerous New Shoes

A Conversation with Sam

Sam: Mom, you know how, like, last week Kaden and I were, like, basically best friends? Well, now we're basically not even friends anymore.

Mom: Huh. Why is that?

Sam: 'Cause he got new shoes and now he's like Avery. You know, like, bossy.

I am home from a week in Virginia with Scott and the kids. It was a nice, relaxing week... I think we all had a great time. It's definitely a rare opportunity for us to have Scott to ourselves for that much time.

Our unit was a three-room deal with a sleeping capacity of ten. Suffice to say, we all had a bed of some sorts to sleep on. Better still, there were three bathrooms and three televisions! I watched HGTV whenever I got the chance (which was often), and have returned home with a renewed sense of urgency to get this place cleaned up and organized. All those home improvement shows are inspiring!

Speaking of inspiration, I took a trip down to the shop this afternoon, trying to find some hope. Last time I was inspired to ask a friend if she wanted to do something there. This time I decided I should open a sort of Maine-Made conglomeration, with all those people who had suggestions from the beginning bringing in their goods to sell. Sort of a full-time flea market and farmer's market, indoors. I'll let you know what I think of next time I head down there.

The reason I went was for our builder friend, Joe, to take a look at it and tell us what it would take to re-convert it to a residential space. He hates the idea of undoing all his other (fairly recent) work, and suggested I at least put a sign in the window FOR RENT... as a retail space, he thinks it may work. I think he (like most of my good friends) just wants me to succeed at whatever it is I wanted to do there originally, and not have to give up so early in the game. I must say, every time I go down, I think how cool it would be to actually do something there. What's stopping me!?

Anyway, vacation is clearly over, and I'm right back into the thick of it now. I've got PTA projects up the wazoo (ouch!), the kids are back at school, Molly's already been to the doctor's office, the laundry is piled sky-high, the car is dirty again, the yard needs attention, the garden needs work... ah yes, did I say it's good to be home!? Well, it's nice to know that all the work that needs to be done is mine! I am so happy to have this place, and even though it comes with such a hefty sense of responsibility, I am grateful to have a home full of happy, healthy kids. Life is good, indeed.

Any suggestions on what to do with my husband and kids for the next week of vacation?

Fast Break

OK, so my first real attempt at sacrificing for Lent ended early, but I still consider it a decent success.

I have had plenty of time to consider my own "sacrifice" (giving up eating out?... are you serious?), comparing it to the sacrifice of Christ. There is no comparison, really. I had to plan ahead, think things through, and work around my eating routine. For me, things went fairly smoothly over all. Nothing compared to giving up your life in an effort to save the souls of all humanity.

Last Thursday came the "friends" birthday party of my nine year old son. I intended to grab a couple frozen pizzas at Walmart while I was out shopping for party favors. I forgot. By the time I remembered, kids were piling off the bus, ready to pah-tay. I've discovered how easy it is for my loved-ones to justify any little discrepency in my original plans... "oh, pizza delivery isn't eating out... you'll all be eating it here at home!" Yeah, whatever. I ordered the pizzas and never looked back.

This past weekend, I chaperoned a Girl Scout trip to Massachusetts with Kate's troop. I knew there was going to be a lot of eating out, so I planned accordingly... I packed crackers, peanut butter, nuts, snacks, a water jug. And, I ate out every chance I got. Well, the fast had already been broken.

So, here's the deal. I figure four weeks is almost as good as five. It's four more than I've ever lasted before! And I have become keenly aware of how eating out affects my life in so many ways... This past month I've stayed home more than ever, knowing I can't just grab something to eat while we're out running errands. Also, because we've had more home-cooked suppers, I've had to rely more on the kids to help out in the kitchen... and now my kitchen looks better than ever!

I wish I had kept better records of the times I've wanted to eat out, just to know if I've actually saved any money. And, just for the record, I don't think I've necessarily lost any weight, so maybe there's a chance that at least my eating out habits are relatively healthy (or contrariwise, my eating in habits are equally unhealthy). Anyway, it was a learning experience for me, and you'll be the first to know if it permanently affects the way I live my life.